Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Me vs. False eyelashes - Confessions of a clutz

The goal.

Friday night my best friend and I were decompressing from a long week with a little shopping and a lot of laughing. We didn't have much of a goal in mind, it was more about hanging out for a few hours before embracing the glory of the long weekend.

As is often the case, we found ourselves at Sephora, and that is where the trouble started. I'm there often enough I know some of the associates by name, and Friday I made the terrible mistake of complimenting one of them on her gorgeous lashes. Somehow that innocent comment led to me sitting at the "beauty station" getting a lesson in false eyelash application. She made it look easy. She made me look fabulous. I found myself leaving with everything a girl could need to make herself glamorous.

Like many things that happen on a Friday night, I awoke the next morning with a fuzzy sense that I'd done something slightly rash, but the details were elusive. It wasn't until I staggered into the bathroom and saw the glue, lashes and other accessories that I remembered what I'd done. Still, it had seemed so simple last night. I'm an adult with reasonable hand-eye coordination. How hard could this be?

Fast-forward to an hour later, when I bravely decide to try the new purchases out before meeting my friend for lunch. I'd spent more time watching YouTube tutorials and looking up the basics, and I was confident this was going to go well. 
Dear gods, was I wrong.

The reality

The first attempt I had too little glue on the strip, which led to the lash falling off within seconds. No problem, thought I, I just need a little more glue. I tried again, and that's when the wheels came off the train to disasterville. I added too much glue this time, and instead of a tidy seal I got a gloppy, gluey overflow that spread across the eyelid and into my lashes, both real and fake. So now I have messed up make-up and clumps of rapidly drying glue in my eyelashes. But wait, it's not over yet. I cleaned up, reapplied the make-up, and managed to get the second lash successfully applied to my eye. Go me! Feeling a renewed sense of confidence, I went back and tried again. 

In hindsight, I realize there was still some residual glue left on my lashes from the other attempts. (I now know to use industrial strength make-up remover) Combined with the new glue, it managed to not only secure my false lashes to my eyelid, it also secured my lashes to each other and my face. Oh joy, I'm now a cyclops, granted one with really rocking eyelashes. Half blind and completely frustrated I check the time and determine that I need to step away from the madness and get ready to go out...which means removing the lashes, glue, and repairing the damage to my make-up, again.

Several hours later I tried again. Armed with more tutorials, advice from Facebook, and a desperate determination not to be defeated by several centimeters of fluffy silk, I charged into battle, tweezers held high. There were setbacks and skirmishes. A pair of lashes gave up their life to the learning curve, but I soldiered on. In the end, I declared victory. 

The goal is to have this skill more or less mastered by the time I head to New Orleans for the Midnight Gala next month. I sense a lot of practice sessions in my future. 

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.