Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Adventures in Property Management - An Update

It's been a while since I've written an "adventures in property management" blog, but this past month or so has had so many strange occurrences I thought it was time to share again.

For those of you who have been following for a bit, you know that my day job is with a property management firm, where I spend my days answering the phone, crunching numbers in spreadsheets, and keeping the office running. One day, I'm going to write a series about a landlord of some kind, so I can use the material that flows across my desk each and every day.

Material like the elderly gentleman who has taken to writing a complaint letter each and every week detailing why we need to get cable in his building's common room/social room so that he can watch his soccer games. The ones on the sports channel he doesn't have the money to pay for, but we should absolutely provide for him at no charge.  

There's the tenant who is hearing an instrument being played at all hours and has taken to harassing their neighbours about their incessant playing. Only none of them even own a musical instrument, and management has stood in the middle of this tenant's suite during these "jam sessions" and can't hear a thing. But still, the complaints continue. 

We've had two calls to the carpet cleaners this month to deal with "biohazard" issues with hallway carpeting because bathrooms are overrated, apparently. There have been several cases of homeless people being let in to sleep in the stairways by tenants who haven't quite grasped the concept of why the doors are locked for security reasons, and a crop of new, young tenants who have this adorable theory that paying rent is somehow optional, or at the very least should happen when they have the money, and not when their legal lease requires it to be paid. 

Then there's the tenant who is deeply disturbed by the fact their stove is a different temperature at the front than it is at the back.(Yes, they've checked apparently) The stove is new. Our appliance expert has looked and assured us this is totally normal. The two-degree variance is, however, enough to ensure we've had multiple requests for the "faulty" appliance to be replaced.

The outdoor pool at one complex is now closed for the winter, but while it was open we had fun writing several letters to various tenants reminding them that the pool and sauna are surrounded by buildings full of tenants who have no appreciation for loud music or excessive nudity. Also, having sex in a public pool is really a bit of a health issue for everyone, so please refrain from getting frisky in full view of a hundred or so people in the water they were planning on swimming in the next day.

This is the glamorous reality of property management. Is it any wonder I write sexy romances in my downtime?